Success!

Today is Thursday January 28th, 2016 and I have been binge free for 7 days. This also marks one week since I decided to start this blog. Thank you to everyone who has read, followed, and liked my posts. It is a little nudge of encouragement that tells me that this was the right move. If I can give even one person encouragement and inspiration from this blog, the whole thing is worth it to me.

One week may not seem like a very big milestone for some people, but for me getting to the 1-week point is a big deal. In the past six months or so I have been able to focus on an eating plan for about 4-5 days or so and then I would binge. Rinse and repeat. An even bigger deal will be when I hit 14 days.

This is what success has looked like for me this week:

  1. I have started tracking all of my food. I have not been overly strict with my calorie allowance, but everything I eat I am tracking. I am using My Fitness Pal, so if you’re on there feel free to look me up (sarabeth414).
  2. I have navigated through two work related lunches, an office birthday, and a meal out with friends. The meal with friends was pizza, so I feel like I get bonus points for not bingeing on pizza.
  3. I have cut back drastically on my one extremely hard to kick habit – Diet Coke. This week I have averaged about one can every other day. Which is quite the reduction from several diet cokes a day. It would not be uncommon for me to not consume any water in the day and my only liquid consumption would be Diet Coke.
  4. Speaking of water, I am drinking it….a lot of it. I think I am getting extra activity just by going to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so. I have a large 30 oz cup that I keep at my desk at work. I like a lot of ice, so I am guessing each time I fill that cup up it is 24 oz. I try to fill it up 3 times during my work day.
  5. I have been consistent with my physical activity. I took one day off this week and that day off I feel like my body really needed. Lately my heels and my calves have been bothering me when running on the treadmill and doing the elliptical/arc trainer. I am going to get into a habit of stretching; however, I think it might be more related to my shoes that are now a year old and probably need replacing

In addition to being binge free for a week I have also lost 5 pounds. This is kind of unreal to me. I am NOT cutting back big time on calories (1930 per day), but this is a similar weight loss number that I would see when I was eating 1200-1400 calories a day. I am really trying to not become a slave to the scale again, but the weight loss is a goal that I have and I think that a scale can be a tool used in weight loss.

I am excited for my success this far and am excited to build upon the foundation that has been set.

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Overwhelm

The struggle with overwhelm is very real today. I want to do so much, I want to discover who I believe I am capable of being. However, I know that in order to do that effectively I need to take this slow with slow, calculated, and small baby steps.

I want to overcome binge eating, but I also want to lose weight and feel comfortable in my body again. In my heart I know I need to focus on the binge eating by itself first, but lately I have found that is a challenge. Up until almost a week ago I have either been 100% on or 100% off on my eating plan. Right now, I am tracking what I eat. However, I have my tracking app set to lose 1/2 pound per week. This gives me a lot of margin, compared to what I am used to when I track my food. Right now I am at about 1930 calories per day and I am 5 days binge free.

In the world of extreme weight loss it is hard to take this so slow. I keep reminding myself that the slower I take this and the more intentional I am the more I will be able to sustain this for the rest of my life. I had joined two weight loss challenges at the beginning of the year 1) 4-week Diet Bet led by Chris & Heidi Powell and 2) a 12 week weight loss challenge sponsored by our local YMCA. The weigh out for the Diet Bet is next Monday and I know I am most likely losing my bet, unless I lose 9 pounds in the next 5 days.

I am extremely proud of the consistency I have had in the past several days. Consistency with no binge, consistency with tracking ALL of my food, and consistency with exercising.  Somehow I have managed to lose about two pounds in the past week. I have still gone out to eat and have even had a dessert or two (without bingeing). This past week has been very helpful in figuring out what some of my binge triggers are. I have started to notice when the slope starts to get slippery. I know overcoming binge eating will be a life long struggle for me, but I think I am on the right track.

Last night I was able to get a workout in while my daughter had swimming lessons at the YMCA. I ran a mile on the treadmill and spent 15 minutes on the elliptical. I need to start a stretching regimen before working out. My calves especially were bugging me during my workout last night.

Today will be a rest day. I’m kind of looking forward to it!

Idle Hands

I am very nervous about today. I am home with a sick kid. In the past this has been a license to binge. This would normally be brought on by exhaustion and stress. I have a plan in place and am optimistic that I will be able to make this my fourth binge free day. I have just finished my protein rich breakfast and am chugging my water. I have learned that protein and water make a big difference in keeping my appetite in check which in turns helps me avoid binges.

I did make the time this morning to get a workout in. I spent 50:00 on the Arc Trainer while watching one of my favorite shows “Chicago Med”.

Best Laid Plans

This morning is Sunday and I set my alarm for 5:30AM so that I could get to the gym for a work out before heading to church with the family. Last week my running intervals were 2:15 walk and 0:45 run, and today my plan was to move it to 2:00 walk and 1:00 run for 30 minutes followed by 20:00 of strength training. I was doing pretty well until about minute 13 and I remembered that I had not used the restroom this morning before getting on the treadmill at the gym. I made it to 15:00 and then ran to the restroom narrowly avoiding an embarrassing  moment on the treadmill.

Afterwards I decided I would just use the 15:00 as a cardio warm up and spent the rest of my time at the gym strength training. I hadn’t done strength training in awhile, I forgot how exhausting it can be.

Now I am sitting at our kitchen table at home eating breakfast (2 cups of cabbage, 4 slices of bacon, and 2 eggs – delicious!!!). Today will be my third binge free day in a row.

Running

My husband runs. He has not always been a runner, but started running in January 2015 and fell in love with it. In 2015 he started running races. It started with a 5K, then he progressed to running some 10Ks and then finally a half marathon in November.

Last night we went out to dinner with a big group of his running friends from work and we had a great time. They are a very inclusive group of people and very non-judgemental. All running abilities are captured within this group of runners – everything from 5Ks to ultra marathoners.

I have had a love-hate relationship with running over the past 4 years or so. I really really want to be a runner. Though I have had issues with plantar fasciitis that has interrupted progress in the past. Combine that with moderate asthma and my inconsistent nutrition has resulted in very little consistent progress.

Well, I bit the bullet about a week ago and signed up for a 5K in April. My husband will be running a half marathon that same day. I have a lot of work to do in my training over the next 2 1/2 months or so, but I am confident I will finish. I may be walking and running the 5k, but I will finish.

Today is January 23rd, 2016 and I have been binge free for two days. This morning I went to the gym and ran 3.1 miles on the treadmill in 55:00 minutes or so. My goal is to finish the 5k in about 45:00 minutes. So, I have a lot of work to do. I am very optimistic that I will make great progress between now and race day.

Day One (Again)

January 21, 2016 was my most recent day one. I have struggled through many years of yo-yo dieting and binge eating and I have had many “Day One(s)” in my lifetime.

December 26, 2011 was another very memorable day one. I had just binged my way through the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. I hated the way I felt and the way I looked. I knew that I needed to change. So, I did what I thought was the most reasonable thing to do: I drove down to the local nutrition store and purchased a supplement. It was a supplement to suppress appetite and give me energy. It worked, very very well.

The combination of this little purple pill and cleaning up my nutrition and consistent exercise I lost 86 pounds in 8 months. During this time I went MONTHS without a binge. Bingeing wasn’t even a temptation. I felt on top of the world. Then towards the end of 2012 word came out that the pill was being banned in the US due to supplement related deaths.

Over the past four years I have struggled with my weight and binge eating. The bingeing did not come back immediately, but it would come on a little at a time. Fast forward 4 years and I have gained a little over 60 pounds back and my binge eating is just as bad as it ever was.

Medical Options

I have done plenty of research on weight loss surgery over the past several months. Everything I have read was indicating that I would be a good candidate for weight loss surgery. BMI over 40 for the past 5 years, constant yo-yo dieting, binge eating, etc. I think the idea of weight loss surgery was my “fall back plan”. Since this was always in the back of my mind, I think that this caused me to binge even more over the past 6 months or so. January 21, 2016 I checked my insurance to see if weight loss surgery was covered and what the out of pocket cost would be. What I found out was devastating. Absolutely no coverage. Not even a dime. My fall back plan was not a feasible fall back plan.

January 21, 2016 will be my last day one.

Today is January 22, 2016 and I have been binge free for one day. I started out my day at 4:15 AM with a trip to the gym for a date with the treadmill. I did a walk run combination for 30 minutes.

 

I have counted calories in the past and I have become a slave to the scale in the past. I will track what I’ve eaten and my progress on the scale, but I will not let these two things define success. I am more concerned with overcoming binge eating and consistency working out at this stage in my journey. When I find success on these two areas of my life, the scale and weight loss will follow.

Welcome :)

I am starting this blog as a way to journal my journey to overcoming binge eating. This is not a blog where I am trying to push products or certain fad diets. I am simply documenting the challenges and victories I face while taking my binge eating and morbid obesity head on.

 

Starting this blog was an extremely spontaneous decision. This idea came to me tonight while I was folding clothes and here I am. So, this is a work in progress. I plan on sharing my some thoughts on my days (the good, the bad, and the ugly). I also will share some of the recipes that work for our busy family of 5. I will try to share some of the workouts I do.

 

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read .